SELF ESTEEM
embrace vulnerability and virtues
Self- concept refers to how one sees oneself, without implying any assessment. It is a simple description of characteristics: I am white, I am a soccer lover, I am tall, I have a sense of humor, I have a lot of temper, etc. Self-efficacy or self-confidence refers to the extent to which one believes that they are capable of using their abilities or learning new ones to achieve the desired changes: I am able to get hold of people, I know how to listen when they need me. Self- esteem goes further, since it includes the opinion that one has of himself and the value of himself as a person. This assessment can be positive (I am a good person, I am responsible) or negative (I am inept, I am despicable).
COMPARISONS
We are always comparing ourselves, it is an almost constant activity since we are a social being. The emotional reaction to the comparison can be positive (if we compare ourselves with someone who "is worse") or negative (if we compare ourselves with someone who "is better"). But both are "false" emotions since the comparison is outside of us.
We should learn to compare ourselves with ourselves and be aware of if this is where we want to be, and if not, find a way to get where we want to be.
WE ARE UNIQUE BEINGS
We cannot speak of equality when we compare human beings. Each person is different. There are more than 7,000 million ways of being on planet Earth, one for each inhabitant. And each one of them is a beautiful landscape, simply because it is unique and has its original singularities.
SELF-CRITICISM = SELF-ESTEEM?
Is our esteem as strong as our criticism? What do we do more: love ourselves or flog ourselves? Do we recognize in equal amounts our strengths and weaknesses, our victories and our defeats?
Well, self-criticism is beneficial when it is constructive, and harmful when it is destructive; when we blame ourselves for being a certain way or acting a certain way.
We develop constructive criticism when we recognize that erring is normal, that error is the opportunity we have to improve and continue to grow as people. We will have esteem when we recognize our weaknesses without fear or shame and integrate it as part of us.
DIFFERENTIATING WITH THE EGO
Many people are afraid to say that they have self-esteem because sometimes they are equated with an arrogant person who needs to continually demonstrate all the good that he has. But it is not like that, this is called Ego. Let's differentiate:
- The ego:
Excessive admiration for oneself.
He cares about himself.
He is not able to see beyond his own beliefs.
Difficulty accepting criticism.
He thinks he is superior to others.
- The self-esteem:
It is valued but from a realistic perspective.
He also cares about others.
You know that your vision is not the only one.
Acknowledge their flaws; accept criticism to help you improve.
Know that no person is superior to another.